


Between the devil and the deep blue sea

by Medeae



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, bandersnatch au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 22:52:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17212358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medeae/pseuds/Medeae
Summary: This is a Bandersnatch (the choose your own adventure Netflix episode) AU. I use the term loosely, as I only took the concept of how the choices work from that show, and I don't know enough about how the general genre works to call this a choose your own adventure AU.If this gets enough kudos/reviews, I'll expand it. I'm really interested in the concept and would love to write more.As always, read, review and enjoy!





	Between the devil and the deep blue sea

**Kill Dumbledore** or **Do not kill Dumbledore?**

 

The scene in front of him stood still as he pondered his choices. At this point, he was so tired of it all that he wished he had the ‘Kill self” option instead. As it was, there were only two paths for him to choose from, and since he had nothing to lose, he selected **Kill Dumbledore** , whispering the Killing Curse as the scene came to life, shutting the old man up. He watched the body fall backwards onto the ground dispassionately, the jet of green light having hit Dumbledore squarely in the chest. Then, the ground started to rumble, and he groaned as he realised he had made a Wrong Decision, closing his eyes and waiting for the flashforward as time accelerated.

 

_11 months later_

 

Voldemort was killing him, going on about some nonsensical Elder Wand. _Great_ , he thought, genuinely relieved that he did not have to kill Dumbledore. He really wanted Snake-man dead and defeated, his corpse chopped up and burned to ensure he never came back, like in those movies he’d watched when he’d made the decision to go into the Muggle world, before getting killed (always, he was dying!) and choosing to rewind several years to reverse that monumental decision. The movie series was called _Dusk_ , or something like that. Something to do with vampires and werewolves. They were extremely amusing, and he chucked at the thought of sparkling in the sun. He could just chop off a chunk of his skin to propose, if that was the case.

 

Anyway, back to getting killed.

 

Well, he didn’t want to die, and he didn’t want Voldemort winning, so, really, he was glad when the screen popped up again after he’d experienced himself dying of snake venom. He wondered if Nagini had been venomous as a human as well.

 

Merlin, he really had to stop daydreaming.

 

**Do not kill Dumbledore**

 

He found himself back at the Astronomy Tower, and Dumbledore was still yakking away, and Draco added some tears in for the fun of it, and then Snape came in and killed the guy anyway, so, naturally, Draco was rather shocked and taken aback, and started thinking about how Voldesnort was going to win all over again, but there was no flashforward, so he could only assume he’d made the Right Choice.

 

Of course, he’d realise it months later, that letting Snape kill Voldesnot was essential to him getting thrown a red herring about the true master of the Elder Wand, thereby ensuring his defeat, and so all’s well that ends well, yada yada.

 

**2003**

 

He’d chosen to firstly help his parents out with their business, and secondly, court Astoria Greengrass, but he’d encountered an unexpected flashforward that showed Astoria dying of some weird disease or curse or something, and he’d had to engage in some battle with Voldecock and Bellatrix’s daughter, and, really, that was one rabbit hole he did not want to venture down or even think about. No, sir, there were not going to be any thoughts about Voldeballs. So, he chose **Auror** instead.

 

That’s where he started working with Hermione Granger.

 

**2004**

 

**Take Granger out for coffee** or **Wait for a few weeks**

 

Both seemed like pretty reasonable choices and not like they’d affect the outcome that much, so he chose **Coffee**. He groaned as the flashforward started.

 

“Coffee is vile, Malfoy, and so are you,” Hermione snapped, scowling at him over her steaming cup of Milo. “I don’t know what joke you’re trying to pull here, but you’d better just get out.” She pointed at her office door, which swung open for him, and resumed her paperwork, ignoring him completely.

 

_Bollocks_. He thought the word ‘take’ meant that the date was a sure thing, not that he’d have to ask her. Since the screens had sprung up when he was 16, this was the first time he’d been tricked. He had to be more careful from now on. This was all just wasting his time. He was tired of reliving the same scenes over and over again.

 

**Wait for a few weeks**

 

In those few weeks, Potter had come down with a severe case of the flu, and so Draco had been assigned to be Hermione’s temporary partner. They’d gone off on a mission together, he was the one who found the bloody thumbprint and she’d rescued him from a kidnapping session, so it was safe to say that they’d built up some good rapport and she was feeling more favourably disposed towards him. He was starting to think that the screens had left him alone and that he was free to live his own life, when, a week after their return, choices were presented to him again.

 

**Lamb** or **Beef?**

 

**Beef,** he selected confidently. Who didn’t like a beef steak?

 

As soon as he’d chosen there was a knock on his door. “Come in,” he called, and blinked in surprise to see that Hermione was the one who was stepping into his office. She was flushed a pretty pink and wearing a most becoming cornflower blue dress. He smiled as he rose and motioned her into a chair.

 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked, his voice squeaking slightly at the end. He _did_ want to take her out, but did he have to ask her right now? He hadn’t decided on any major details yet!

She took a deep breath. “nNixnciunic?” Her eyes never left his, but the words came out in a confused jumble, and her flush deepened. He couldn’t help chuckling.

 

“Sorry, could you repeat that please?”

 

She took another deep breath. “Will you go out to dinner with me?”

 

His jaw dropped.

 

“On a date,” she clarified, her face turning the colour of a Weasley’s hair. “This would be a dinner date.”

 

***

Merlin, it wouldn’t have mattered if he’d chosen **Lamb** instead. She’d brought him to a kebab stall and ordered a beef one for him when he weakly said that he’d trust her judgement. Granted, the food was good, but it was so damn hot while they were waiting for their orders to be done, and he was dramatically overdressed in a dinner jacket and tie. Her eyes had widened upon seeing him, but he’d gallantly declined her suggestion that he go back home and change. Now, of course, he regretted it, and there was no screen allowing him to go back, even though he was sweating absolute buckets. After they’d gotten their kebabs, she wanted to eat them while they strolled the streets, and so both his hands and mouth were glistening with oil. He had been horrified to learn that they were eaten in this way. He thought that there’d be a fork, at the very least.

 

But Hermione seemed to be having fun, and so he was having fun.

 

***

He’d chosen to invite her back to his flat after their third date, and she’d agreed. Now, as they were cuddling and watching _Pride and Prejudice_ (2005) on the TV and DVD player she’d brought over in that incredible bag of hers, he was thinking if it was too soon to initiate sex. Sure enough, the screen popped up, and he took a moment to survey the scene. Her head was on his chest and her hand rather high up on his thigh. The movie wasn’t raunchy or suggestive in the least, but she was a little flushed, and they hadn’t been drinking, and the flat was at cool temperature.

 

**Make a move** or **Wait?**

 

He decided to take a gamble and chose **Make a move.** It paid off wonderfully.

 

**2006**

 

**Propose** or **Kiss her goodnight**?

 

This took him by surprise. While he’d been thinking of popping the question, he hadn’t gotten a ring. Plus, the choices made it seem as if he’d have to propose right then and there, and he wasn’t sure how to go about doing that, while they were laying naked in bed, panting from their recent exertions. Still, he thought, he had nothing to lose. The universe seemed pretty darned determined that they end up together.

 

**Propose**

 

He took her hand and turned his body so that it faced her. She grinned wolfishly at him like a satisfied, yet still hungry cat, running her hand down his torso.

 

“Give me a few minutes, lover boy. I’m still catching my breath.”

 

He laughed, but his cock hardened despite his best intentions. This would be the worst proposal ever. It would be a miracle if she said yes.

 

“Will you marry me?” he asked, the question slipping out smoother than he thought it would. Her eyes widened in surprise.

 

“Are you serious?” she asked.

 

He lifted his other hand and stroked her cheek. “Absolutely,” he answered.

 

“Then, yes!” she beamed, attacking his face with kisses. “Yes, yes, yes!”

 

**2007**

Just as he’d gotten ready to leave his hotel room and make his way to the ballroom, another screen appeared. He was quite flummoxed. It hadn’t come up since the proposal. He thought that had been it, that he’d fulfilled his destiny, or whatever. Soon, however, his perplexity turned to rage.

 

**Leave Hermione at the altar** or **Sleep with Ginny Weasley on your wedding night**?

 

Merlin, he was angry.

 

“Who are you?” he shrieked. “Why are you doing this to me?”

 

There was no response.

 

“I’m finally happy!” he continued. “And you want to take this from me? Why did you let me take this whole path if I wasn’t going to end up with her? Fuck you!”

 

There was still no response.

 

“Fine!” he yelled. “I’ll just sit here and wait until the choices go away! No matter how long it takes!”

 

And wait he did, never caving in, as the writers for the code of the upcoming Netflix show puzzled themselves over why a choice could never be made for this gateway, click as they might, re-code as they might. For months and years they tried, changing teams and tearing their hair out. It was as if the character had become sentient and refused to give up Hermione. Finally, they decided, they’d let the two have a happy marriage. They could be the crime-fighting, married duo that would be the next hot ship. Perhaps there would be a Death Eater resurgence that they could be instrumental in taking down. There could be a sequel. As it was, they removed the screen, and Draco stood up, weary but determined, making his way downstairs.

 

He stood at the end of the aisle and watched as Hermione walked towards him, both parents on her arms. When she finally reached, he reached out to cup her beaming face.

 

He said softly, “I’ve been waiting a long time for you.”


End file.
